Thou Shall Not...

I have decided that one of the things I hope to accomplish with this blog is to produce a list of rules, laws, and/or commandments to raising the next generation.  You don't have to follow them, but I hope they make you think about your parenting style.

Today was Lex's first trip to the dentist.  I was very nervous about how it was going to go.  I remember nothing pleasant about my visits to the dentist as a child.  The sounds of the drill, the antiseptic smell, the gooey taste of the fluoride, the way my dentist would laugh off my complaints of pain.  I'm fairly certain of one of two things: my dentist didn't know how to administer Novocaine or I am immune to it.  Going to the dentist was not something I would wish on my worst enemy.  As a result, I had gone a good 15 years without going to the dentist.  Within the last 5 years I have gone back to the dentist and overcome (partially) my odontophobia.  My first choice for dentist was not the best choice as her smarmy attitude just reinforced my disdain of dentistry.  When I moved to Worcester, I was fortunate to find a dentist that my mom had recommended to me some time ago, but had relocated from Western Mass: Dr. Haselkorn.  It was with some trepidation that I went to my first appointment, but the staff and dentist there have been nothing but great.  Dr. Haselkorn is patient, understanding and honest.  He addressed all my concerns and we have put together a plan to get my mouth back in shape.

At Lex's last doctor visit, they suggested that Lex was ready to go to the dentist.  Visions of my childhood dental  torture danced in my head.  I called Dr. Haselkorn's office and found out that they accept toddlers as patients.  We made an appointment and we talked to Lex about his visit and we were encouraged about his response.  Then last week, one of his shows featured a visit to the dentist and Cute Fan Girl explained that Lex was going to the dentist.  As a result of the show, however, Lex wasn't as excited and even went as far as to say that it would hurt.  It was with some trepidation that we made the journey this morning.  My mom and I also had appointments scheduled and the plan was that she would sit with Loki while I went in with Lex.   However, she was running late and we arrived on time.  As I filled out the endless reams of paperwork that fuel the medical and dental industries, the hygienist came out and said hi to Lex.  Before I knew it, he was following her back into the exam room.  From where I sat, I could hear her explaining to Lex what all the things in the exam room did and what they were going to do.  Before I knew it, she must have had him in the chair and was working on him.  I was amazed.  15 minutes later, he came running out, beaming and shaking a light-up toothbrush like it was a lightsaber.  The hygienist's report:  great teeth and great disposition.

On the ride home, I had an epiphany.  I had built this trip in my head as something potentially traumatic, but for Lex it was more of an adventure.  I realized that I was projecting my fears onto him and I had anticipated his reaction to be like mine.  I furthermore realized that I shouldn't be doing this.  My fears are my fears and not his.  And thus was born my first parenting commandment:

Thou shall not project your fears onto the next generation.


My kids will have fears, but they will be their fears.  I will do my best to make sure that Gigi, Lex and Loki are not afraid of: dentists, bees and heights.